As I said yesterday, a dear friend of mine has asked me to share part of my story with you. At first I was a little reluctant to do so, as many of you don’t know me very well and many aspects of my story may not resonate with who you are. However, I am taking the risk of sharing my life with you in a very open and honest way because I believe it illustrates the power of  staying committed, never quitting, and overcoming obstacles.

One of the ways I characterize my life is that I have reinvented myself many times. In 1986, with the support of my mentoring professor at DePaul University who was an expert at phenomenology and world futurism, I started exploring many remarkable circumstances that led me to begin a very focused study of spiritual growth and development. As a result of that change of direction, my parents asked me to give up this exploration or leave their home. So, I moved to Nashville to live with Tolen, a friend of mine who supported my spiritual journey.

Many learning opportunities came my way on this search for connection with God and meaning for my life. I connected with many of the top people in the field of spiritual growth — Shakti Gawain, Ram Dass, Jim Wagner, Emmanuel, Carol Howe, Christopher Hills, Anna Mitchell-Hedges. I also became a Reiki Master, joined a meditation group, and became close friends with many followers of Rajneesh. I also started having various Native American Elders connect with me in remarkable ways. With everyone’s encouragement and support, I developed a healing ministry and had a financially viable practice for many years. I also joined various network marketing opportunities and was mentored by many success coaches — Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Les Brown. I was determined to be financially free.

Then, and I remember this as if it just happened today, on June 21, 1999, Tolen and I went to a Solstice Fire Ceremony. Brown Owl, a Katuah Fire Man, had built a sacred fire pit on my friend Trish’s land, and we often prayed together. As was my habit, I brought a long written list of people who asked me to pray for them and a hawk feather as a gift for the fire. Several of us attended the ceremony, and we all circled around the fire, placing our offerings around the fire and rejoining the circle. I listened to everyone’s prayers intently. When it came my turn to pray, I totally astonished myself because I opened my mouth and instead of praying for the people on my list, I said, “Great Spirit, I don’t mind serving you with the gifts and talents you’ve blessed me with. But, I just want to be happy.” Then, I threw my tobacco on the fire, and the fire jumped from the pit over to my hawk feather offering and burnt it to a cinder.

I worked part time for the Atlanta Convention & Visitors Bureau as a registrar, to pay for the little extras like seminars and helping the Elders. I had to be at work early the next day. It was a pretty typical convention for me. I sat behind a counter typing on a computer. At this particular show, we had to get up after we finished the guest’s registration and get a giveaway bag to hand to the guest. I had been working for about 3 hours when, unbeknownst to me a live wire connected with the metal lip on the counter where I worked. I went to push myself up from the counter and put both hands on the metal strip and was electrocuted and knocked about 30 feet back into the stack of gift bags.

You hear about Near Death Experiences on the television and in books. But, until you have one yourself, the descriptions are pretty meaningless. I did experience being pushed out of my body by an energy so strong that it felt like a red hot tornado. I saw a long tunnel and started walking down the tunnel toward a bright light. I got about half way down the tunnel and stopped. I looked at the light and said, “I know you are just going to send me back because I didn’t do what I came here to do yet.” I had this sense that I was correct, so I turned around and walked back to the opening of the tunnel.

At that time I was several feet above my head, upside down (head touching head and feet 5 feet above me). I willed myself to get back into my body which seemed difficult because the energy swirling around me was so strong. I eventually was able to ground myself. When I came to, I was lying on the stack of bags, with one of my work friends standing over me.

Tolen was working this show, and my friend sent a messenger to fetch him. The supervisor called the ambulance. When the paramedics came they treated me for shock, and my blood sugar was extremely low. So, they gave me orange juice and something to eat. They wanted to transport me to the hospital, but I didn’t have health insurance or any ready cash to pay for the ride. So, the paramedics left, and Tolen drove me to the hospital. I was shaking very badly, my blood sugar wouldn’t stabilize, and I could barely walk. After doing some tests, they sent me home.

During the first year or so after the electrocution, my life was pretty miserable. I had all this electricity buzzing around my body. I could hear and feel it buzzing all the time. I had muscle spasms and cramps. My blood sugar wouldn’t stabilize. I couldn’t walk or take care of myself. I couldn’t be left alone, and I was afraid because my body was acting in very bizarre ways and wouldn’t move when I commanded it to. So, I was totally bedridden, punctuated by numerous trips to the hospital because I was having myoclonic seizures. Friends babysat me, when Tolen went to work.

About that time, my body started calming down a bit. So, Tolen bought a small refrigerator, toaster, microwave, and coffee maker and put them in the corner of my room. Before he went to work, he would make sure that I had food and drink. I would crawl down the bed, crawl on the floor to that corner of the room, pull myself up on the dresser next to the fridge, and prop myself up there so that I could heat food up to eat. Then, I would crawl back to bed.

This would pretty much have been my life, according to the doctors who said I would never walk again because of nervous system damage, if not for the intervention of my Aunt Genni Pearl, one of my Elders, and Dr. Mary, a friend who was a Chinese doctor and pharmacologist. One of my babysitters phoned Aunt Genni Pearl, who I had known for some time but lost track of, and told her about my situation. Auntie had me phone her, and we talked every night for several years, while she shared teachings with me and did healing work on my body. Her Grandmothers and Grandfathers, whose teachings go back many, many generations, all did ceremony on my behalf. They finally put me through a rebirthing ceremony to help me go through this life transition.

Dr. Mary had lived in Atlanta but moved to Santa Fe, NM before my electrocution. I phoned her and asked her for help. She sent me packages of Chinese herbs, developed a delivery system so that my body could tolerate the medicines she sent, and did long distance healing treatments. Dr. Mary stayed in daily contact with me, since she did not have the benefit of being able to take my pulses in person.

Very, very gradually my condition improved. After a few years, I graduated from the bed into a wheelchair. I continued working with Auntie and her Elders, and Tolen started taking me out of the house to various seminars and social events. Up to this juncture, I still had trouble controlling my legs and feet, was very weak, was in extreme, chronic nerve pain, and had severe migraine headaches several times a week. So, my life was still pretty miserable by most people’s standards.

However, I had another turning point when I attended an Abraham-Hicks seminar. My question was the second one Abraham answered that day. I explained what had happened to me and asked Abraham to comment on my condition and how I could continue healing. Abraham told me that I had a real gift for summoning huge amounts of energy but that unfortunately my focus on what was not working in my life was like having my feet nailed to the floor.  Abraham said, “No wonder you were electrocuted. Think of the resistance of being pulled in two different directions.” Then, Abraham shared the one pivotal teaching that changed the whole character of my healing, “Don’t focus on your pain or what isn’t working. Just pet your cat.”

So, I began taking my attention away from my body and what it was doing and placing it on my cat, Cleopatra. I still spent the majority of my day in bed resting. But, instead of keying in on my pain, I would cuddle up with Cleo and love on her. I literally spent hours bundled up in bed petting my cat. The silence became more bearable. I relaxed a little more. My condition started to improve, and I was able to stand and walk a few steps with a little help.  

I continued to pet my cat and was able to get around the house, by hanging on to the walls. I then spent part of my day in front of the computer, learning how to negotiate the Internet. I met people online who had been electrocuted and helped me negotiate the disability system so that I could get the help I needed. I also started to connect with people who were interested in spiritual growth and development and started to teach on ACIM Gather Radio.

Nine years from the time I was electrocuted I started getting the nudge to resurrect my healing work/teaching ministry. I didn’t know how that was going to happen, but I was open to the possibility. One thing I was sure of is that I had something valuable to teach. I had come through a living hell, using the resources that were available to me (which was challenging in and of itself because I didn’t have any money or health insurance until I was three years into the process), and overcome my challenges. I could apply the many teachings I was blessed with to solving a host of problems, but more than that my life experience takes away peoples’ excuses for not changing some things in their lives.

If there was one thing that guaranteed that I would get out of that bed, out of that wheelchair, and walk is that I never gave up on my dream. I always envisioned myself teaching and doing healing work. I saw the huge numbers of people I was going to help through their life transitions.  I believed with my whole heart and soul that there was a good reason for God to send me so many people who helped me save my life.

I am deeply grateful for the opportunity of sharing this portion of my story with you. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post. I’ll be talking about gratitude.